All posts tagged: #prayer

Buried Bulbs and Prayers

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[Published at (in)courage May 19, 2017] When I saw the lumpy bags of daffodil bulbs at the store I was skeptical. The eager garden center employee hovered nearby, so I asked her, “Is it worth all the kneeling, getting dirty, and waiting? Are flowers really going to come? Is there any guarantee?” She promised the bulbs would bloom. I bought four bags and rushed to pick up my kids from school. Before she even got in the car, I could tell my daughter was angry, like she always was these days. She saw her classmates doubled over laughing on the school lawn as we drove by. She crossed her arms and set her jaw. When we got home she slammed the car door and followed her siblings into the house. I stayed quiet in the driver’s seat. I knew she didn’t want to talk about it. She refused to pray or be prayed for. She despised my hugs. I sighed. I’d been praying for her for so long. Would it ever get better? I remembered …

I Stopped Praying for My Kids

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Some people pray like a troubadour. Beaming about all the great things the Lover of their Soul has done. Their love is mutual and glorious. It’s dramatic and flowery, stomach flips and sighs. I’ve prayed like that, when my chubby baby smiled up me, and when I caught my husband looking at me from across the room. Some people pray like a tenant, leaving post-its on the landlord’s door. They roll their eyes whenever something breaks, knowing that whenever the scruffy, absent ex-con gets to it, it’ll be too late. They wait for him to come over smelling like cigarettes with a roll of duct tape, but normally end up fixing it themselves. Which is what the landlord was hoping for anyway. I’ve prayed like that, when my friend’s cancer didn’t get healed, and when my friend’s divorce was finalized. Some people pray like a child, asking for big things with big innocent eyes. They ask from the safe place on their daddy’s shoulders. Daddy is always patient and trustworthy. He can fix anything, and he …

World Changer Wednesday – The Beaird Family

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I really want my kids to be World Changers. I hope they will desire to generously love and serve other people because they are overflowing with grace and joy from God. But how will they learn that? Why would they want to? One year our family chose Orphans as our Family Compassion Focus. My kids couldn’t believe how many orphans were in stories they already knew – Little Orphan Annie, Anne of Green Gables, Moses (Greta wondered if poor Max and Ruby were orphans too). We would say a simple prayer like, “God, help orphans” as we drove around town. Then we researched orphan statistics. The kids learned there were orphans in Uganda – heartbreaking. Then they discovered there were orphans in the United States – surprising. And in Illinois – shocking. And in Wheaton – unacceptable. The kids prayed, “God, why are there so many orphans! Help!” We studied bible verses about the fatherless. The kids prayed, “Every kid needs parents, God! Help!” As the weeks went on, and we kept researching and praying, asking and listening. We all started …

A Little Note About Worrying

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Today I’m flying home from Haiti with Greta. I can’t wait to share stories of what we saw and heard. In the meantime, here is a little note about Worrying, because as I packed for the trip, worry was sneaking and swirling all around me.  Most of the time sleep comes easily for me. I am so ready to crash after 18 hours of busy life every day. The thing that keeps me awake some nights, though, is pain. A few years ago complications from a hospital procedure left me bedridden in massive pain for 11 days. I couldn’t sleep. I saw my pain, my inability to handle it, and the brokeness that required the procedure as failings. This led to a long rabbit trail of shame and shoulds, long into the early morning hours. I tried to conquer those thoughts with a list of things I could control, like a to-do list. But then Jesus interrupted me. Me: Tomorrow I need to write that email to the moms. I need to call the doctor for the refill. …

January 28th

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During the Polar Vortex days of January Chris worked hard, traveled lots, and looked for a new job. The kids read under blankets when school was cancelled. I drank hot tea, ate too many tater tots, and researched danger. Researching is my favorite phase. Anything is possible, information is everywhere, and it’s too soon to act. God’s crazy message of “2015: THE YEAR OF LIVING DANGEROUSLY!!” might be about stepping into courage and away from fear, but I didn’t know how to do that. Then I read this one snowy morning: “What is the most needed, yet the most dangerous prayer you could ever pray? It is the one prayer that takes you beyond the small-picture hopes and dreams that kidnap so much of your prayers. It is all right to pray about your job, marriage, family, finances, house, children, retirement, vacation, investments, church, health, government and the weather, but it is not enough. This kind of prayer follows the “right now-me” model of prayer…Yes, God cares about your present life….But he calls you to view …

Called to Compassion – Since the Earthquake in Haiti

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[Part Three of a three-part story about what happened when my kids decided we should “Help Haiti” in 2010.]  Recap of the previous two posts about Compassion and the Earthquake in Haiti:   Five years ago a catastrophic 7.0 quake struck Haiti.  My five year old twins heard about it and wanted to help.  This was new.  We tried to listen and equip them to try something.  We did a little bake and craft sale with a $500 goal.  Our friends, neighbors, school, church, and facebook community responded with lavish generosity.  We became a bridge for sending $33,000 to Haiti that year.  It was completely unexpected.  [For the full scoop read “Compassion Catapult – The Earthquake in Haiti” and “Contagious Compassion – The Earthquake in Haiti.”]   Whenever people hear this crazy story they have lots of great questions: Why do you think this happened? Why did your kids want to do something? Why did the school want to help?  Why did you keep saying Yes? Why was it so contagious? Why did it get so big? I have the same questions. I think these are deep Soul questions.  Based in …

Little Rainbows

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The sun is out! Hallelujah! Every year I put these beautiful Swarovski crystal ornaments on branches. It’s a tradition. My parents give us one each year (since 1995). My kids love how they fill the room with rainbows. Normally I put them up quickly at the same time we do our tree and there’s lots of chaos and I beg the kids not to help me so they won’t break. It’s not very cheery, or holy, or reflective, or fun. Last week on one of our many gray afternoons I slowly hung them when I was alone in the house. Each one has the year on it (1995-2014). I was filled with deep memories and visceral emotions as I pulled each one out of their safe little boxes. 1995- the year my mom bought me the first one in Salzburg, Austria in the middle of the Sound of Music tour (groan) and the day before Chris proposed on the edge of the Vienna Woods (unquenchable joy) 1996- our first married Christmas 1998- life altering car accident 2001- quit …