All posts tagged: #buoy

The Buoy

I’m hiding in the bathroom. Everything is too hard. Again. My child’s big doctor appointment was a disaster. Again. The note from school was embarrassing. Again. Big changes at my husband’s work. Again. Texts about a long death, a baby in the hospital, and a broken deal all dinging on my phone. Again. Wrinkled receipts, unopened mail, sticky cold medicine, half-filled lunch bags, and late library books cover the counters. Again. Off-key piano and bass practice take up all the air. Again. No bread or milk in the fridge. Again. I rushed into the green guest bathroom to try to hide from the tidal wave of anxiety. I heard its distant roar when I was clearing the table. Again. “God? I can’t. I’m not going to make it.” I don’t know how things got this way. So many people depend on me. They follow me and cling to me. They hang there. That’s like my job now. I give long hugs. I lay silently with my kids while they fall asleep. I listen a lot. …