Have you and your family had a Family Compassion Focus brainstorming time yet? If you haven’t it is okay. I understand. There are so many obstacles to starting something new.
No Time – when are we all going to be together today? will you be here when the kids get up from naps? i have so much to do! when will you be home from your friend’s house? is that work calling again? will we even have time to add something like a Compassion Focus into our lives?
Crazy Life – the sewer is backed up! i have the flu! the kids are fighting! are you taking her to the orthodontist? should I buy those tickets now?
Big Fear – what if no one wants to try this? what does that say about our family? what does that say about me? what if we can’t agree? what are we getting ourselves into? can we afford it? i bet we won’t do it anyway.
Old Habits – we don’t normally eat around a table, my kids always fight at dinner, I’m tired when I get home from work, everyone looks at their phones, maybe I’m a nag?
No Desire – I don’t want to. I won’t want to. My spouse doesn’t understand. My kids don’t care.
If you resonate with any of these things, you are Normal. It’s okay. Here are a few ways to think about these obstacles.
Time: Our brainstorming sessions really don’t take more than 10 minutes. It’s just sharing ideas and writing them down. Short attention span. No practical implementation is happening right now. Can we find 10 minutes and see what happens?
Life: *All of the things listed in the crazy life section were said in my house today.* It’s been a crappy day. No pun intended. If life is going to be crazy anyway, maybe we can try to add some meaningful crazy? Maybe the good that happens in and through us by practicing some Compassion will eventually crowd out what’s less important?
Fear: I am an expert at depression, despair, and doom. I understand these fears. I can beat any worst case scenario you throw out there. Most our family struggles with anxiety. But we don’t want to live in fear, right? And we aren’t going to conquer anything if we don’t try new things. New, small, brave little things. One step at a time. (I’ve come to understand that Fear is a Soul issue. Perfect love casts out fear. I hope we can talk more about this in the future.)
Habits: The biggest bad habits in our house are complaining at dinner, talking about butts at dinner, freaking out about complaining and butts at dinner, staring at phones, watching tv, and not listening. Doing something like a Family Compassion Focus could be the start of new habits for you and your family. Maybe talking together for 10 minutes once a week could be just what you need?
Desire: I get it. No time, the weariness of life, the worries, the repetitive poor choices – they kill our hope and desire for good things. If experimenting with Compassion doesn’t appeal to you, don’t do it right now. I would ask that you ask your heart why. Often it is because of a fear or a deep wound. I have found healing and then greater desire when I have stepped out to love others in an intentional way. If you are a praying kind of person you could pray something like, “God, I really don’t feel like doing Compassion kind of stuff. Is that okay? Thank you for loving me no matter what.”
It’s never too late to try something new. I hope you’ll come join us with a Family Compassion Focus in 2015.
Here is the previous post with my recommendations for having the 10 minute brainstorming session: Now Is The Time.
You are loved.
© Aimee Fritz and Family Compassion Focus, 2014-2015.